The Second Adversary Is You
Your most dangerous enemy.
Hey friend
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You’re up against your foe.
Sworn enemy.
Or just someone you mildly dislike.
But there is a second adversary in all conflicts.
You.
When we face conflicts in our projects or professional lives, it's easy to focus solely on the external challenge. We see the difficult stakeholder, the competing team, or the resource constraint as our primary adversary.
But here's a crucial insight: in any dispute, you're not just battling an external force - you're also contending with yourself.
Think about it.
In your last heated discussion or project setback, what was really holding you back?
Was it just the other person's stubbornness, or did your own biases play a role?
Did your emotions cloud your judgment?
Did past experiences make you jump to conclusions?
This 'second adversary' - yourself - can be sneaky.
Confirmation bias might lead you to dismiss valid concerns that don't align with your views. Ego could prevent you from admitting mistakes or considering alternative solutions. Fear of failure might make you overly cautious, missing out on innovative approaches. Stress and fatigue can impact your decision-making, causing you to react rather than respond.
Recognizing this internal adversary is your first step towards more effective conflict resolution.
To tackle it, practice self-awareness by regularly checking in with your thoughts and emotions.
Challenge your assumptions by asking yourself, "What if I'm wrong about this?"
Seek diverse perspectives to highlight blind spots you didn't know you had. Embrace discomfort, because growth often lies just outside your comfort zone.
Remember, the strongest project managers aren't just skilled at managing others - they excel at managing themselves.
By acknowledging and addressing your internal adversary, you're not showing weakness; you're demonstrating true leadership strength.
So, the next time you face a conflict, take a moment to look inward. You might find that your toughest opponent - and your greatest ally - is staring back at you in the mirror.
See you next week,
Jonathan (The Effective Project Manager)
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